Pssst can you keep a secret??

I didn't want to say anything through fear of jinxing myself,however after speaking to the doctors this morning during ward round it seems the plans are moving forwards… we are making plans for my surgery to happen this Tuesday coming!!

In March my stoma surgery was postponed, since then we've had a desperate few months going through the motions of trying to slow any deterioration and keeping me as comfortable as possible until surgery was available. Even with the high risk of COVID-19 at the moment we have been able to put a date together and stabilise my blood levelsenough to make it safe for surgery. I've been in hospital for a few weeks now since the potassium levels in my blood dropped critically low (again) and since then it was decided that it wasn't safe to go home and risk them dropping again.

The team here have also realised that time really is of the essence and we cannot put this surgery off any longer.

It feels quite odd and a bit scary to have my surgery just around the corner, and know that I'll be going through surgery alone. Usually my mum would go down with me to theatre and hold my hand while I had my first anaesthetic,I would then wake up in recovery and my mum would be there to hold my hand and look after me afterwards. But of course there are o hospital visitors allowed, so I'll be going at it alone- knowing that everyone at home is right behind me and only a phone call away….I'm 18 so I'm guessing that this is this what adulting is all about?? Having to do things alone without your parents to help!

All in all, I am so relieved and and ready to take this huge leap and hopefully get to a more manageable situation with my health…after all- I have horses to ride, fun to have and so many things to look forward to!!!

Fingers crossed all the plans go to go ahead and I haven't jinxed myself though!