Recently I've felt like just a patient more than ever

 After a call from 111 with my blood tests results, we headed straight to hospital early yesterday morning as my potassium levels had dropped critically low. This happens nearly every week and I often post about it, but it doesn't change the fact that every single time can be life threatening due to the effects low potassium has on the heart and other vital organs. I woke up yesterday feeling violently ill, throwing up in the early hours, shaking, feeling overall numbness in my arms and legs, unable to sit up straight or call properly for help from anyone and to be honest, I'm too weak to bother trying at most times this happens. This is a classic situation of me at my worst when I need an infusion and have a bowel blockage, so I was so pleased to be heading straight to hospital as we'd have otherwise had to call an ambulance before things progressed any quicker from bad to worse.

The past couple of weeks it has felt more exhausting than ever to continually jump form one appointment to another, then back home to start that nights treatment and finish my physio regime, to then waken and repeat the next day. I've been missing Daisy like crazy for the past two weeks but I forgot about the more unspoken benefits that riding brings to life too. There's something about the freedom I get when in the saddle that just lifts my worries and opens my mind, so not having that has naturally left me feeling lost and confused about what what to do and how to feel.

I've lost that balance that riding brought to my life, and recently I've felt like a patient more than ever, not even a person, just a condition that requires treatments, infusions, tubes and medications.

Following yesterdays panic and struggle, I do feel a lot better luckily which I'm so pleased about. But now I'm desperate to balance life in some way to help keep me focussed as I'm definitely the type of person that thrives on distractions. So, while I'm feeling a bit better and making the most of being at home, I'm on a mission to find something that I can enjoy that distracts from everything health related and gives me some freedom. It's not always easy but I do think that as always we can #FindAWayNotAnExcuse

#spinabifida #parashowjumper #chronicillness #hypokalemia

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